You Missed Your Stop

It's that time in October (and by that I mean November), and that means the Yankees are fingering themselves at the thought of adding yet another world series to their collection. According to New York gossip column PageSix, the wives and girlfriends of several Yankees have been asked to keep quiet about Kate Hudson. The blonde film star has been going out with A-Rod for roughly a year now and has been pissing off the rest of the Bronx Bombshells ever since with her idiotic antics in the Groupie VIP Box and her moronic celebrations in light of A-Rod's performances on-field. The tension between her and the rest of the Yankee (club)housewives has reached a point where the Yankee organization has specifically asked the women to not comment to any journalists of any kind... but I'll still write about it.

It is in writing. Adrien Brody is set to star in Robert Rodriguez's remake of 'Predator'. You read it right. The film is slated for a release THIS JULY-- I know, it happened fast. For those of you who don't know, Arnold Schwarzennegger played the lead in the original film. Miscast? Probably. Brody is probably one of the puniest-looking actors in Hollywood-- honestly, I think Aaron Carter may have kicked his ass back in the sixth grade. Not only is this dude lanky and weak looking, he is starring in a remake of a film that originally starred Ahnuld, Carl Weathers, and Jesse Ventura. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the other names in that trio, let's just say they did their share of roids. These guys were so jacked and tan in that movie, they probably couldn't get a successful erection for 2 years after its release. The only thing that makes sense about this casting call is the fact that Brody once did a Roman Polanski film and is now set to be in a movie called 'Predator'.

It's a rare treat that I get to talk about Jennifer Aniston and Moses in the same breath, but here it is. 20th Century Fox have acquired the rights to a retelling of the story of Moses. Disturbingly enough, the studio have used the term "300 style" to describe the way in which the film will be shot. As a big fan of 'The Ten Commandments' (1956), I am not psyched for this. A director has not been signed. Hopefully they won't cast somebody like Dwayne Johnson or Gerard Butler for the role of Moses. I feel like it would be hard for The Rock to follow up on 'The Tooth Fairy' with something like this.

This is really beginning to depress me. Hollywood's "favorite" damsel in distress is back to her usual tricks. Jennifer Aniston is starring in another lovesick RomCom where she's turned 40 (honestly, how many times can the same person turn 40, especially when she's 80 on the inside?) and given up on personal relationships. However, her next film takes the same predictable and pathetic genre to an all new low. Here is the synopsis on IMDB:

"An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order tobecome pregnant. Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend,who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own."

I think that Jennifer Aniston is on a secret mission to make the world dumber. Either way, the film is to be titled 'The Baster' (yuck), and is slated for release in 2010. Jason Bateman and Jeff Goldblum costar.

I'm not talking about the crazy little bastard in 'Red Dragon'/'Manhunter'. I'm talking about Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. It seems like he's trying to turn into a super-jacked Adam Sandler. Check out the trailer for his new film 'Tooth Fairy' and get ready to laugh your ass off. It's coming out this January, which means that it WILL BE as bad as it looks.

After deciding to push the release for Martin Scorcese's 'Shutter Island' from this past Friday to this coming February (WTF), Paramount has just released a new trailer for the film. I was skeptical about it at first, and was not surprised when the studio decided to push back the theatrical release. I will say that this new trailer is a big step up. The plot's a lot clearer and it doesn't seem like DiCaprio is over-acting quite as much, check it out in HD!

So, last night Lindsay Lohan got kicked out of a hotel. She may eventually have to leave the country if she gets kicked out of anywhere else. After a fight with her on-and-off girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, LiLo threw a room service tray at WHAT SHE THOUGHT was Ronson's hotel room door. Problem is, it wasn't. An unsuspecting hotel guest was staying in the room in question and alerted the manager, who promptly told Lohan to (paraphrased) "GET THE FUCK OUT AND DON'T COME BACK" (sic). This morning, Lohan's TWITTER read:

"Hahahaha my publicist just called me & said she heard I was in apsych ward!!!! Hahaha WHAT IS WRONG with people???? I’m working lol BUT that’s one I’ve NEVER heard about myself before! New ones r alwaysinteresting huh? There’s SO much more going on in the world! Wake up"

Yeah, her family wants her to go back to rehab. Problem is they haven't realized that she's crazy without the coke, too.

Trust me, you've seen it before. Although the Aniston/Eckhart love-sick rom-com beat out Jennifer's Booty (that's definitely what they'll name the porno-version of the latest Megan Fox crapfest) for 4th place at this weekend's box office, you have no reason to see this movie. After reading all of Jennifer Aniston's recent publicity about being a lonely, needy, clingly, pouty, lovesick, old, jaded, plays-the-same-damn-broad-in-every movie actress, I noticed some amusing descriptions in the Rotten Tomatoes consensus of 'Love Happens':

Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston star in the romantic drama Love Happens. When a self-help author arrives in Seattle to teach a sold-out seminar, he unexpectedly meets the one person who might finally be able to help him help himself. Dr. Burke Ryan (Eckhart) is on the precipice of a major multimedia deal, but the therapist who asks his patients to openly confront their pain is secretly unable to take his own advice.

Eloise Chandler (Aniston) has sworn off men and decided to focus on her floral business. However, when she meets Burke at the hotel where he's speaking, there is an instant attraction. But will two people who have met the right person at exactly the wrong time be able to give love another chance?

As each struggles with the hurt of love and loss, they realize that in order to move forward, they need to let go of the past. And if they can, they'll find that, sometimes, love happens when you least expect it.

In related news, the screenwriters of 'Love Happens', Brandon Camp and Mike Thompson (seriously, guys wrote this?!) have been sued for copyright infringement by every movie ever made.

You heard it. After 2008's tastelessly-mediocre 4th installment in Lucasfilm's 'Indiana Jones' franchise, George, Steve and Harry are at it again. The 67-year old action star has agreed on a storyline with Lucas and Spielberg, and plans to don the whip and fedora in front of the camera once again. The title of the new film will be:

Punk Rocker-chick extraordinaire Avril Lavigne has officially left her husband of three years, Sum 41's Deryck Whibley. It looks like she's been eating her sorrows. What Would Tyler Durden Do? reports: